


Locked Away

by Voraline, Vorichi (Voraline)



Category: Naruto, Naruto - All media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Mystery, POV Uchiha Itachi, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Psychological Drama, Romance, Uchiha Incest, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-04-05 23:46:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19050943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voraline/pseuds/Voraline, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Voraline/pseuds/Vorichi
Summary: Sasuke has lost both his parents to a murderer and is the sole witness who can help discover their killer, but there's one problem: he has lost his memories and is now living in an orphanage, but when a man claiming to be his older brother appears to take him in both their lives take a turn for the interesting. ItaSasu, yaoi, AU





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This WILL contain YAOI and INCEST , and although I am not sure about lemons or anything like that yet, kissing will be involved, so you have been warned. If you do NOT agree with this please stop reading now!  
> To everyone else, hope you enjoy, and please review!

His life took a turn for the unexpected the day he turned 18. He couldn't be hosted in the orphanage anymore and, while fearing that he'd end up on the streets he didn't do anything about it and he still couldn't believe his ears when the social assistant come to talk to him.  
"You have an older brother" he said while handing Sasuke a bunch of papers. Apparently those papers proved the truth of the statement and blood tests were the proof of the like he and the mysterious man shared. "He has voiced his wish to meet you and since you'll have to leave here soon I thought the idea might appeal to you."  
"Did he know I was here? Does he know what happened?" Sasuke said, clearly displeased with his brother's disinterest in coming to contact him sooner.  
"From what I have heard he did not know. He has been searching for you since a logn time ago and finally found someone who seemed to fit, so he requested DNA tests to confirm your identity. "  
"How did anyone agree to giving some unknown man my DNA results?"  
"Since you were a minor, if it had proved he was your older sibling your custody could have been given to him so they agreed to do the tests."  
"I see. But now I am an adult and what good can meeting him do?"  
"Well, as I have mentioned before, he might support you in many areas."  
"You mean financially. Are you that afraid I'll end up in the streets?" Sasuke asked nonchalantly. Honestly he had considered ending up there, but it did not scared him. His life hadn't been exactly rosy, so what could living in the streets do to him?  
The man in front of him raised an eyebrow skeptically. He knew Sasuke way to well to be worried about something like that happening. Even since he had been a child, he never gave any attention to his own being. He just seemed to not care and although he had so much potential it was obviously just wasted.  
"It is my last duty as your social agent to help you with this. Anyway, it is ultimately your choice if you want to meet him or not, but who knows? Something good might come out of it." he said and Sasuke understand exactly what he meant: his memories coming back.  
But was that what he really wanted? He had been told all his life that his parents had been killed in front of him and that if his memories were to ever return he should not hesitate to tell the police, but was that really for the best? It's not like he cared much about himself, but he didn't have the energy to concern himself with an extra tragedy and he was sure that if his childhood memories were to ever return, his perfectly safe and sterile life would be damaged. He might actually get hurt and that thought he despised. He never knew love, happiness or sadness in his years in the orphanage and he did not want to start now, but in the end curiosity took over him. He did not care much about his past, but he was curious about his brother, so by the end of the discussion he had already planned a meeting with his sibling the next day.

***

He looked around with lazy onyx eyes, scanning his surroundings for his brother. The place where they were supposed to meet was a small café, which, by the looks of it was expensive enough for Sasuke to waste all his savings just to buy a bottle of water, but he was told to order whatever he wished without worrying for the price so he did just that.  
As he was sipping the delicious coffee, he started wondering. His brother seemed to be rich, because he had inherited the family business. It was not entirely clear as to why Sasuke got lost and turned in to an orphanage, not being given any of the family fortune but it did not matter at that time. He wondered if they looked alike, but then a bitter smile spread across Sasuke's face. A man who never had to work for his money, who was probably sitting behind a desk all day long, winning money because of his simple presence, how could they have been alike in the slightest?  
He tried picturing him as fat, or ugly or just simply a horrible person, anything that could have compensated for the easy life that he had led, while Sasuke had to work just to be able to buy a new T-shirt, but when he heard a man calling his name from behind him he completely lost his train of thought.  
He turned around just to see the image of a perfect man, slender and well built, with long black hair tied behind in a ponytail. His eyes were a deep onyx and the scars beneath them seemed to make them stand out even more. He wore casual clothes but from the looks of it the must have all been big brand names and his smile told Sasuke that he felt entirely sure of himself. He was not sure if he completely hated the man already, but he was going to find out.  
"I'm sorry to have kept you waiting" he excused himself with perfect manners as he stretched his hand forward.  
"It's no problem. I just got here myself" Sasuke lied while politely shaking hands with his older sibling. Tensin could be felt in the air and Sasuke couldn't make out if his brother's smile was easing it or making it worse.  
He sat down on a chair across the table and stared at Sasuke, scanning all his details. A short trace of melancholy could be seen on his face but it was quickly replaced by his confident smile.  
"You've grown a lot" he said while ordering a coffee for himself without even looking at the menu. The waitress was clearly melting over the man in front of her, smiling and asking if she could do anything more for him, in a manner that suggested that she'd do really more than just bring a coffee and a biscuit.  
"No thank you, the coffee should do for now" Itachi said with his deep voice, then he turned his attention to Sasuke.  
"Well, yeah, I guess. Just the normal"  
Itachi seemed somehow displeased and for a second Sasuke wondered what had made him mad, but then his expression changed as quickly as it came. It was obvious that the dialogue was dying out, but he was not going to let it go so easily.  
"I shouldn't beat around the bushes now, should I? I know you have no memory of me and it must be hard for you to meet a stranger who claims to be your older brother, but as the things stay there was no other way." he paused for a little to look at Sasuke with serious eyes and then continued "I want to get straight to the point as it would make this situation easier for both of us. I want you to come live with me. Now that it had been proved you are an Uchiha, you will be given your share of money that mom and dad left behind, but until then you'll need a place to stay at and I wouldn't want you on the streets. What do you say?"  
Sasuke was amazed at his tone. It sounded like they were having a business meeting going on, but at the same, something in his brother's eyes told him it was not just that, so he instinctively responded.  
"Ok, if you're fine with me living at your place I don't mind either. When should I come?"  
"I have arranged a room for you already and spoke with the orphanage. I'll be picking you up tomorrow at 2 P.M. from there. I trust you'll have enough time to pack everything."  
Sasuke just nodded and after a while their discussion was over with Itachi excusing himself. They both stood up, shook hands and went their separate ways.

*** 

That night, while packing his few belongings in his room Sasuke was still thinking about his brother. He was not sure what, but something had caught his attention, fascinating him about the perfect man that was his sibling. Maybe it was because they were so different, or maybe he just wanted to find a flaw in Itachi, but Sasuke felt inexplicably drawn to the older man and so, for the first time in his life he felt anxious for the morning.


	2. Vanity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually an older story of mine with around 7 chapters done already, but it's taking me a while to upload them since I can't port with the URL. Eventually I'll upload all the chapters and probably work on finishing it by the end of this summer.

Sasuke's morning wasn't at all as quiet as he would have liked it to be. A lot of people gathering around to say goodbye to him and so many promises of keeping in touch in the future, promises that would have been broken even if Sasuke had actually _cared_ about keeping them. He looked around at the crowd. Some people he knew, some people he had never spoken to in his life and that wasn't even strange considering the size of the orphanage, the number of people in it and Sasuke's introverted nature. What was strange, however, was the sudden interest everyone seemed to give him now that he was leaving the place.

He struggled to evade the people surrounding him and in the end made it to the comfort of his own room. He had hoped that he'd be left alone for a while, but his roommate had other plans. The blonde boy looked at him, with a mixture of happiness and sorrow in his eyes. It didn't take much to understand that he was equally happy because of Sasuke's new found family and wealth, and sad because he'd be sort of left behind, alone. Of course, they were still going to attend the same university, but now Sasuke had a real family, whatever that meant for Naruto.

"So… I guess I'll see you at school then…" he said and Sasuke simply shrugged.

He sat on his own bed, trying as hard as he could to ignore his depressed roommate, but his constant pouting made it hard to concentrate on more pressing matters like, let's say, Itachi.

"You know…" Naruto started, but just as he did someone knocked hard on the door.

"Sasuke, your brother's here for you" the old woman said just to leave immediately afterwards.

Sasuke grabbed his bag from the bed and quickly moved towards the door just to hear a whisper behind him.

"I am happy for you" Naruto said smiling, but again Sasuke just nodded then he left the room.

* * *

The crowd outside foretold Sasuke of something _really really_ flashy going on near the building and as he made his way through the rows of people gathered in front of the gates, his guess became a hard fact.

Itachi was standing outside a black BMW, that looked like it'd be worth the entire orphanage and the people in it, but although he knew his fair share of cars, he couldn't put his finger on that particular one. Maybe it was something made especially for Itachi? Considering everything that he had seen until then, that was a possibility.

After his initial amazement allowed him to, he started walking towards his older brother who was casually waiting, like no one had noticed him or his car.

"Well, hello there Sasuke" he said flashing him a perfect smile, which looked awfully sincere.

"Uhm, yeah, hi." He answered obviously uncomfortable.

"Is something the matter?" his smile was suddenly gone and a worried expression took over his face. He couldn't quite comprehend Sasuke's displeasure.

"Well, you're waiting in front of an orphanage, with a car that could have all of us sold as slaves in order to have enough money to buy it. How do you think I'd feel about that?"

Itachi's face suddenly changed to something that couldn't be read and then an evil grin took over.

"I wouldn't mind one or two slaves myself." he said and then winked playfully to a baffled Sasuke. "I'm just joking of course, no need to sweat it. I won't sell you on the black market."

Sasuke felt completely amazed. This man was just unbelievable, flashing his perfection around, and then making a joke like that, but he got into the car with him nonetheless, not looking back to the place that he was leaving behind. He stared at the man in the driver's seat for a while, still baffled at how easy it came to his brother to just exhibit his ridiculous amount of money and charisma.

After he started driving, Itachi went completely silent and Sasuke forced himself to stay so as well, but in the end curiosity took over him.

"So, how about you tell me something about yourself as well? I take it you are well informed about me, but I don't know anything about you. It seems kind of weird."

Itachi turned to face him with a smile that went as fast as it came and Sasuke was really worried about the possibility of having a car crash.

"Hmmm, let's see. What would you be interested in knowing, little brother?" he said and Sasuke wasn't sure if his smile was genuine or just a mockery.

"How about your age? What do you like to do? How did you find me? Where do you live? How did I get separated from you in the first place?" Sasuke realized his questions were all over the place so he just decided to shut up and wait for an answer which didn't fail to come. He sounded like a teenage girl who has been given the chance to interview a pop star.

"I'm 23, don't worry. If I am old enough to be running a business and driving a car, than I can host you for some time as well."

"That wasn't why I asked. I don't really care if I am properly being taken care of or not."

Itachi looked at him with a curious expression which kind of told Sasuke that he did not believe him. He raised an eyebrow and put on a questioning smirk.

"Why are you here then?"

"Curiosity I guess."

"The past?" he asked, and for the first time his voice sounded harsher. The past was obviously something he did not want to discuss as eagerly as his age.

"Not really, no. I don't actually want to remember anything. I was just curious as to what kind of person you were." Sasuke admitted. It was true, and it wasn't something to be hidden. His brother was intriguing him so he might have just admitted to it.

Itachi's face was a mixture of unpleasantness and delight and Sasuke really wished to hear what was going on in his mind right then, but before he could say anything more, another ravishing smile was flashed at him.

"I am happy to hear that my little brother has taken such a keen interest in me." he said while chuckling and Sasuke felt a very light trace of embarrassment.

Why was Itachi making it sound as if it were something to be proud of? Wouldn't anyone be interested? Did he say anything to imply more?

"You still didn't answer my other questions." He said after a while and looked straight at the man driving.

He was looking ahead, not moving to face Sasuke. His smile was also gone and after a while he just said a few words.

"It was night, everything was chaotic and no one truly knows anything, but you. Anyway, this is not something to be discussed now. We should have some other type of chat; after all it's been so many years since we've been together like this." Itachi said, looking nostalgic and sad.

The expression of resignation on his brother's face made Sasuke wonder what he had been through and thus he decided it might really be for the best to change the topic of their talk. They spent the rest of the journey listening to the soothing music on Itachi's radio and talking about whatever small things they could think about.

* * *

It was night already when they got to Itachi's house, or something more appropriate, Itachi's gigantic house. The sight made Sasuke almost jump out of the car to take in the needlessly spacious building in front of him.

The design was modern and somewhat cold, with lots of one way glass walls. Sasuke thought it was just like his brother, mysterious. You could see everything from inside, but nothing could be seen from outside.

"Do you like it?" he said, with a cunning smile on his face.

Sasuke jost nodded, knowing an answer would be pointless. He was after all staring at the house in front of him.

"After you" Itachi said, snapping him out of his reverie, and opening a huge door for Sasuke to enter.

He led him through a long corridor, explaining him everything about the house, telling him what to do to reach the kitchen and so on, and only stopped when they entered a big living room. One particular item caught Sasuke's attention and he stared at the photo for some time.

"Is she your girlfriend?" he asked, looking at the beautiful long haired woman who was smiling at the side of his brother.

"She's my fiancée" Itachi said with a somehow bitter smile. "Maybe you will meet her one day. As you can see… she's not here."

"Did you have a couple fight?" Sasuke said and then realized he should have kept his mouth shut. The woman was after all his fiancée. Things must have been pretty serious and if they did have a fight, Itachi must have been depressed over it.

To Sasuke's surprise, his brother simply smiled idly and looked at the photo.

"You could call it that I suppose. Or you could say that if it doesn't work out, it was never meant to be."

He seemed to be talking about someone else's life and Sasuke was astonished. Did he even care about the girl? Like always, his mouth started running without his consent.

"Do you love her?"

"Hm?" Itachi said raising a suspicious brow. "Why do you ask little brother? Did you already set your eyes on her?" he joked and then added. "If she wants you, you can have her. Now, how about I take you to your room?" he said then turned around to walk up a long set of stairs.

"This one here is your room and the one next is mine. There's a bathroom for each room so no need to go downstairs or anything. Are you following me?" he asked when he realized his brother seemed quite far away, both physically and mentally.

"Uhm, sure." Sasuke said, still astounded at his brother's attitude concerning his potential future wife. It seemed that each second he spent in his company made him look even more unbelievable.

"Do you want me to help you with those?" he said pointing towards Sasuke's luggage.

"No, thanks but I'll be ok" he answered, knowing he had so little belongings it wouldn't take him too long to place them all somewhere. "I'll go to sleep now. Good night." He said, hurrying to enter his room and have some time to rethink the events of that day when a hand grabbed his wrist.

"You forgot this." His brother said, smiling in a glamorous manner and placing a fast kiss on Sasuke's forehead. "Good night." He then turned around to walk to his own room.

Sasuke stood there in the doorframe, watching his brother disappear in the darkness of his own room and only after a while did he notice the set of keys that were now resting in his hand.


	3. Just another morning

Waking up in a soft and comfortable bed _did_ feel different, and although Sasuke was normally not a morning person, right then he just felt like not leaving his bed. Living in luxury was something on a really different level.

He lazily looked over to the clock on the side of his bed and jumped up at the sight that greeted him. It was already past 11 and he was well aware that he had missed his chance to go to work. Then again, he was probably ridiculously rich already and he could afford to take a few days off. Carrying boxes and doing the dirty job was not something to look forward to when you were wrapped into warm, cozy sheets in a big king sized bed.

The sound of his stomach made him realize just how hungry he was and he reluctantly headed to the bathroom for a quick shower. When he was done, he quickly headed to the kitchen and, just as he was wondering if his brother had already left for work, he was greeted with the sight of Itachi, sipping his coffee in the living room, reading something Sasuke couldn't really see.

"Good morning" he said and the older sibling slowly turned to him.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes." Was all that came out of Sasuke's mouth. He wasn't sure what made him want to shut up but he was sure there was something he was forgetting.

Itachi simply chuckled and mumbled something about him not being as talkative as he remembered then led Sasuke to the kitchen. The younger sibling immediately started to search for food while Itachi simply leaned on the wall and watched him.

"There's a lot of food here, especially tomatoes. You can eat whatever you want."

Sasuke stopped his quest of searching through the fridge to look at Itachi.

"How did you…?"

"I guess old fires are hard to put out, right little brother? Especially the guilty ones…" he said smiling, but his tone implied something more and at that point Sasuke wasn't sure that his brother was still talking about tomatoes. He wasn't even sure they were still talking about him for that matter.

The older sibling then approached him, walking slowly, closing the gap between them. When they were finally facing each other, Itachi leaned in. In an instant, Sasuke remembered the events of the previous night and felt a slight blush coloring his cheeks. His heart skipped a beat as he stood there motionless, waiting for something that failed to come; Itachi simply stretched past him to draw something from the back of the refrigerator.

"Here you go." He said handing Sasuke a tomato. "They are in the back. You'll have to search for them a bit"

His smile left Sasuke speechless and he turned around as fast as he could. His heart was racing and he realized he might have over reacted. I mean, he was certainly _not_ wishing for a second kiss or anything like that… it was just that it had surprised him last night, that was all. Yes, that had to be all, he convinced himself.

When his pulse had finally calmed down and he felt the weird feelings dissipate, he asked in a low voice.

"Don't you have work or anything like that?"

He heard Itachi chuckle behind him and felt awkward yet again. Why was it that everything that came out of his mouth seemed to amuse his older brother in a way or another? And then his sudden blush when he imagined he would kiss him again…

"What's so funny?" he finally said, wishing with all his might to be able to read his brother's mind.

"Nothing." his voice was like silk, seductive and soft, and he was getting closer and closer to Sasuke. He did not turn around, not even when he could feel Itachi centimeters away from him. "I just love how concerned you seem to be with me" he whispered into his ear, and Sasuke couldn't contain a slight shudder. What was wrong with him? What was wrong with Itachi?

He slowly turned around just to realize he was better off not facing his sibling. He had nowhere to run; trapped between the cupboard and his brother's slender figure. Itachi was looking at him with amused eyes, obviously enjoying his awkwardness. He casually moved a hand through his own hair and put it behind his ear and Sasuke watched fascinated, wishing to touch be able to touch it as well.

For a second, Sasuke completely forgot what his position was, or that he wanted to escape that position at all. His brother was truly something to marvel at. For a second Sasuke imagined that if Itachi would have lived in the times of the ancient gods, he'd have been attributed some sort of unique quality. Or maybe _unique_ was not the right word. His quality would have been not out of the ordinary in the least, but it would have been just as spectacular. Itachi could have easily passed off as the embodiment of seduction, perfection and maybe wickedness. He was a mixture of fascinating qualities and Sasuke was sure that even his flaws were just as charming.

The amused spark in his sibling's eyes grew and slowly, Sasuke came back to his senses. The sudden realization that he had just been bewitched by some sort of technique that was probably to be used on a girl you wanted to get your hands on made him equally angered and embarrassed. He pushed his was out of his place and walked to the other side of the table in an attempt at putting some sort of secure distance between him and his sibling. There was not a way in hell he'd ever let himself look at Itachi that way again. It was mostly wrong and pretty pathetic.

"Is something the matter, Sasuke?" a soft smile was still lingering in Itachi's eyes, but he was doing his best to look concerned and innocent. He took a few steps in his little brother's direction and chuckled when he completely tensed up behind the table. "Did I do anything to upset you?" he continued with the sweetest voice.

If anyone had seen them right then, Sasuke was sure he would have looked like a crazy teenager, trying his best to put up a show, while Itachi looked completely astonished by his _peculiar_ behavior, like he was not the one to cause it in the first place. The thought that his elder brother was an amazing actor briefly crossed his mind and made him even angrier. He felt the adrenaline rush through his veins and he knew that from that point on, he and Itachi could be nothing else other than rivals, therefore he'd also have to act.

He struggled to take another step forward, and another, until he was so close to Itachi that the two of them could touch. He looked up with a smirk, only to catch a short glimpse of surprise on his brother's face. For a second, it made him feel so good that his smile widened.

"Nothing, I just remembered I had something to do. Pretty shocking, how I could have forgotten about that? Don't worry, _you_ couldn't shake me up like that." He said and as he walked past his brother to the door he made sure to push him away a bit. " … even if you wanted to." He then added in a low voice, not even knowing for sure if his sibling could hear him.

* * *

Alone, in the kitchen, Itachi could still not get rid of the smile that plagued his face. The little Sasuke was just asking for it, and never in his life had Itachi felt so eager to jump right into someone's game.

* * *

_They say you've lived before. Countless times, countless experiences. You've lived it all, you've probably seen it all. You've been a fish , a tree and lived among humans. You've felt sorrow and happiness, you were successful and broke, you've lived enough to understand everything. Yet, if you can't remember any of it, what purpose does it serve?_

_Does it even matter, that you've had everything and nothing? How could living without remembering it count as anything?_

_The truth is, if you can't recall something, that something might have just not happened for you. It might have happened for other people, but not you. We are creatures that live in the past, bound to what our memory can take with us in the present._

_You love someone, you hate someone, all because of the past; but if that past is gone, everything you ever stood for goes together with it._ _So what does it matter to you, that I can still remember? How could I ever say we've lived those times, the most precious times to me, if you can not remember them? Those moments do not exist for you, and the current you has never lived them, so tell me, what should I cling to? What should my present be based on?_

Itachi looked at the glass of wine in front of him. Drinking always made him act funny. He was feeling a mixture of bitter defeat and intoxicating hope. His existence was based on an unstable pillar, one that could crumble anytime, yet he felt like he could make that pillar stand with just his bare hands. He felt like his life had finally started to move, after years of stagnation.

He watched the burgundy liquid reflecting the light from outside his window once more, then drank it all. With a deep grin on his face, he headed for his bed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The documents I'm uploading from are a bit screwed from being converted so much, so if anything is weird please let me know! (I had to manually remove some paragraphs that were doubled and stuff like that)

Living with Itachi proved to be a pretty eventless feat after the first day and Sasuke soon came to realize that he and his brother were rarely at home at the same time. Although at first he nurtured some sort of mixed feelings about how their relationship was going to develop, now he felt almost on the brink of disappointment. Where was his brother all day long and what of the show he had put on barely a week before, making Sasuke feel all flustered? All sorts of questions were mingling inside of him while he was eating his breakfast when he heard the phone ring.

Deciding it was just as much his house now as it was Itachi's, he stood up and answered the phone.

 _"Hello?"_ Sasuke could hear the clear sound of a woman's voice.

"Who's there?"

_'Itachi, it's me, your soon to be wife?"she said, her voice oozing of sarcasm. "What has gotten into you?" this time, her tone was serious, all traces of irony gone. "I know it has been a rough time for the two of us but… are you really casting me aside already?"_

At this point, Sasuke wanted nothing more than to stop the woman and tell her he was not the one she thought he was and the fact that she seemed on the verge of crying did not help at all.

"Uhm… as awkward as this is, you've got the wrong guy. My brother's not at home. Do you wish me to leave him a message?"

The woman suddenly went silent, muffling her quiet sobs and trying to fix whatever mess she had made of herself over the phone. After a few seconds of silence she spoke again, her tone soothing but also firm.

_"Then I suppose you are Sasuke. Sorry about that, you really do sound alike."_

"No problem at all. I guess you could say that." He replied, wondering just how much the woman knew of him, since after all he knew nothing of her. "So should I pass anything to my brother?"

 _"No…not really…"_ a moment of silence filled the room and then the woman resumed her talking _"…actually tell him I'd like us to meet. I'll be back in town by the end of the week."_

"Sure, no problem… "

_"Konan, my name's Konan. Thanks and sorry for earlier."_

"Don't think too much of it."

_"Ok, bye Sasuke. I am glad I got the chance to talk to you even for a bit before coming there."_

The line was cut off before Sasuke could say anything else, and in all honesty he felt grateful for that. It was not that she seemed like a dislikable woman, but rather that he felt awkward talking to her. He didn't even know as much as her name and the only thing linked to her that ringed any bells was the way his brother seemed to talk and act so coldly towards her. Konan had struck Sasuke as nothing but charming so why was Itachi's behavior so indifferent?

Not long after, he decided that he didn't care enough to dwell on such matters and looking at the clock flashing 11:48 he decided it was his time to go. Although he realized he was rich, he could not completely abandon the lifestyle he had before and thus kept one of his part time jobs. In all honesty, he did not need it, but he felt like going there meant he was doing something to earn his living, plus the job suited him perfectly. He was never a morning guy so his afternoon shift was more than fine with him, plus he got to see some of his old acquaintances. He didn't really care about friendship or whatever, but during his time in the orphanage he felt like there were a handful of those who could relate to him in the slightest and being around them made him comfortable. It might have been the force of habit but he did not care much, after all there was not much for him to really do alone in the house all day long.

He was about to leave the house when he decided to turn around and look once more at the face of the woman in the picture. After having spoken to her, he felt like he wanted to know more. What kind of person was she? What did she like? How did she and his brother become so close? How did Itachi act around her? He stared at her face for a few seconds, taking in her soft features, her long and dark hair and the gentle and genuine smile. He wondered if Itachi acted differently towards her than he did when it was just him and Sasuke, not like he was around that much.

" _Wait, why am I even bothering? Not like I was expecting him to be around or anyt_ _hing and after all who would want that?"_ He thought to himself then left the house in a hurry.

* * *

 

"Oi, Sasuke! Took you long enough!" the blonde haired boy shouted from across the street. He was outside the small café waiting for Sasuke, just like he always did, despite him never asking for it.

"I told you to stop waiting for me, it's creepy." He answered while passing by the other boy and entering the place through the back door.

"Stop being so cold to your friend!" he pouted." After all we barely get to see each other anymore."

"Yeah, thanks God."

The boy's smile cracked a bit, but he was already used to Sasuke and him being a cold ass so he did not pay him much mind. After all, he knew he was there because he couldn't let go of his previous life, no matter how much he tried to deny ever getting attached to anyone or anything.

"Are you guys done changing?" a voice called from across the small hallway, echoing into the changing rooms for men and women. Probably the word 'room' was a bit misfit as the place was barely anything like that. Small and cramped, a thin improvised wall separating the two compartments. "Come to the back when you are done, I need some help to carry stuff."

Everyone kind of mumbled a 'yes', and went on with their dressing. Once he was out of the room, Sasuke could hear the voices of the female workers behind him.

"Hi there, you guys!" they all said in unison to which Sasuke did not bother to answer, unlike Naruto who was already practically choking them.

"Idiot, come already. Kakashi said he needs help." He said, dragging the blonde after him.

"He can wait."

"Just because you crush on Sakura? That guy is giving you a place to work. Don't act like a child."

"Yeah… it's just that it has been lonely without you around. Getting to see them at work makes me happy." he said, suddenly looking sadder than Sasuke had seen him look in a long while.

For a second, even Sasuke felt bad for making the boy sad so he decided he would drop the scolding.

"I know, it's ok."

* * *

Some hours later it seemed that everything was like it used to be, and that feeling of familiarity was sinking deep inside Sasuke's bones. He did not realize how much that one week had affected him, but now he could clearly see that the sudden change struck him pretty hard. He almost did not mind the girls giggling behind his back and begging for his number. Almost.

"Sasuke, can you bring the orders to table 4?" Kakashi asked, obviously amused. Sasuke could sense right away the reason for his obvious high spirits, and that was the customers at the said table. The group of girls who had been his school mates and were now actively stalking him every day of his life.

"I hate you." He sighed, taking the orders nonetheless. He placed them on the table and tried to no avail to make his escape.

"So, Sasuke, I hear you are out of that place. How about coming to live together with me ? I bet it would be amazing." That was Karin. The most persistent of them all, talking to him in that sly manner while clinging to his sleeve, trying for the one hundredth time to seduce him with whatever she could.

"Thanks, but no thanks." He said, yanking the fabric out of her hand and trying yet again to leave only to be stopped by another pair of pair of hands moving all over his arm.

"Come on, Sasuke, why do you have to always be so cold?" she said, running her fingers up and down along the form of his clothes. He was about to snap at them for being even more aggravating then usually when a sudden look of surprise rose on all of their faces. The annoying hand suddenly left his body and he sighed with relief. He at least managed making a scene. He turned around to greet the reason for his sudden freedom and when he did he felt like maybe, just maybe, for an unknown reason, he would have rather put up with the annoying women.

His brother was walking up to the counter, looking completely out of place in the small, casual coffee shop, with his grey suit and leather suitcase, he seemed like someone out of a commercial for profitable business.

"Wow, who is that?" he could hear a voice from behind him, but paid little attention to it as Itachi turned towards him.

He had no idea why, but suddenly he felt like that first night he spent at the house, the weird feelings and the way his brother was acting. He thought he would never have any reaction to his brother after that first time, but now it seemed that he was wrong. Maybe not seeing Itachi almost at all for an entire week returned him to the state he had been in the first time he saw him: completely unprepared.

He didn't even notice his brother gesturing him to go over until a few seconds later and when he did, it felt like his legs were moving of their own accord. In all honesty, he really did not want to get close to his brother, and the way he was moving his hand looked like someone who would be calling over a shy pet. Sasuke decided on the spot that he hated it.

"You know I am not your dog. You can just wait for me to come over." He said, laying aside the tray he had had in his hand.

"Hmm, maybe…" he said smiling deviously, then he grabbed Sasuke's wrist and pulled him closer to him so that they were now inches away. "…but maybe I just couldn't wait to meet with my adorable little brother."

"You are totally weird." Sasuke said, pulling his hand away from his brother's grip and turning to the side. He couldn't have been blushing, no fucking way.

"Don't be so cold, I just wanted to see you." He said, flashing a smile that looked way too genuine. "Sit down. "

"I'm at work. I can't sit down."

Itachi looked around then a look of confusion appeared on his face. It looked like he did not even notice his whereabouts let alone that his brother was working. Soon enough though, the look was gone and he simply shrugged it off.

"I guess it can't be helped, I'll just order a coffee then. But you have to be the one who brings it to my table. "

"Got it." He said, rushing away behind the counter and trying to calm his nerves. Why was he so agitated with Itachi around? It wasn't like he wanted to care about him in particular and he was not even sure he liked the guy… so why did was he feeling so weird?

"Here's your coffee. Black, no milk, no sugar." He said with a grimace. The thought of drinking something so bitter made his head dizzy.

"Thank you. By the way, before you go, hear me out a bit."

"What?"

"I'm off work early today. Want me to pick you up when you are done with work?"

The thought of having to spend even one extra second so close to Itachi inside such a small space made him shiver just a tiny bit, so no wonder he had no intention of taking his brother up on the offer.

"No need… I'll just get home by myself, thanks."

"I see." Itachi said over his coffee , more to himself than to Sasuke, a glimmer of disappointment showing in his eyes. It almost made Sasuke change his mind but then he remembered his brother did not even bother to talk to him all that much that past week so he decided that he could care less.

"If that's all, I'm going back to work, enjoy your coffee."

"Wait. One more thing." He said and looked outside the window towards the cloudy sky as if to measure the best words. In the end, he turned to look Sasuke straight in the eye "Sorry I was not around. This past week was a bit hard on me, but I really wish I gave you more of my time. I was really looking forward to living with you, Sasuke"

At this point, the young Uchiha had no idea how to react to such a statement. He did not expect it and the look of sheer sincerity on his sibling's face made him feel all the more insecure while also making his heart beat just the tiniest bit faster. He swallowed hard and tried to find his words.

"Well yeah… whatever, going back to work. See you tonight."

He turned around and tried to ignore his brother for the rest of the time he was there, thinking of his awkward response.

" _Good job Sasuke, good fucking job"._

* * *

"Why are you still here, Sasuke?" Kakashi said looking at the clock."It's been already 40 minutes since your shift ended yet for some reason you refuse to leave me alone. Why not just go home?"

Sasuke did not bother to look at the man but instead continued to wipe the tables diligently. It was not in his character to offer to help over his schedule, nor would he help for that long, but truth be told, he had no clue what to say to Itachi once he got home.

"Are you seriously going to ignore me? Kid, is everything alright? Something wrong at home?" the white haired man resumed his train of questions and somewhere in the middle, Sasuke decided he had had enough.

"Going home. See you later."

"Yeah be careful."

He threw his uniform into his locker and got out of the building. If he hurried, he could still get on the early train and get home.

* * *

Sasuke was pretty positive at that point that he was going crazy. He had stubbornly refused to go home from work, just to run out of his breath to catch the early train and now he was standing in front of his house, still a bit shaken by his own actions but unable to stop himself from advancing towards the door. As he went in he realized how different the house was with all the lights on and someone waiting for him. He felt a bit funny and warm, almost smiling as he walked around the hall, wondering where his brother was. As he entered the living room however, the nice feeling was suddenly gone, and for some unknown reason he felt like he was sinking.

Itachi and a woman with short purple hair were sitting on the couch. Itachi was leaning on his back; eyes closed and seemed troubled while the woman was clinging to his arm.

"…listen to me, please. I know what I am talking about. I know you! Just give it some time, you are just confused!"

"Look, Konan…" Itachi said, opening his eyes but stopping in the middle of his sentence to look at Sasuke who probably had a very interesting expression written all over his face. The woman also turned around once she saw Itachi's reaction and then Sasuke immediately recognized her as the one in the picture. Itachi's fiancée. His heart sunk a bit more, again, for reasons he could not even begin to understand. He realized he was probably intruding on the two of them only a moment later, when the silence awkwardly took over the room.

"Uhm… I'll just go upstairs, need to change, sorry to bother."

"Wait, Sasuke!"

"No need to…" Konan followed, however the boy was already out of the room and running.

" _So that's why he's here earlier. I should have figured it out. He just wanted to meet his fiancée, what was I thinking? What was I expect…. No, I wasn't expecting anything. I'll just let them finish their business and then go greet her properly. Will they make up? Why is she here now? "_

* * *

Half an hour later, a very awkward Sasuke was descending the stairs from his room to the kitchen, where he found Konan and Itachi, waiting for him. Only then did he realize he had completely forgotten about Konan's message and passing it to his brother… well in the end it probably did not matter since she had arrived way earlier than planned.

"I was starting to worry. You took off like that, do you feel unwell, Sasuke?" Itachi asked, his face showing nothing but concern, but then again, Sasuke already got a taste of his brother's acting. After all, he seemed so genuinely eager to spend time with him that afternoon when in fact he only came home because of that woman.

"I'm fine." He said, plain and indifferent, something that Itachi noticed right away.

"Are you sure?" his question was greeted with a silent nod. "Anyway, this one here is Konan, she's my…" he paused, as if to find the words to describe their situation best.

" _Just say she's your fiancée already. She's obviously here to make up with you"._ Sasuke thought to himself, suddenly annoyed at his brother's reluctance.

"He knows who I am. We spoke on the phone this morning, right?" the woman cut in, as If to ease the whole awkwardness of the situation.

"Yeah, we did. You look a bit different than what I thought you would." He added, not really knowing why.

"Yes, I decided it was time… for a change, right Itachi?"

"Look, Konan, this is not the time or place for this."

"It's fine, you two can talk. I'll be upstairs." He said, and for the second time that night rushed straight to his room.

* * *

Some time later, he was still in his room, pretty disheartened and feeling like kicking himself. " _Why am I so goddamn annoyed? Who cares if he came home for her. Not like I care. It doesn't matter, he can do what he wants for all I care"._ His train of thought was however interrupted by the sound of footsteps and voices, coming upstairs. Although hating himself for it, he could not stop from getting up and closed to the door so he could vaguely hear them.

"…following me? You can sleep downstairs."

"Come on… let me sleep in your room."

"No. Look, there's no reason for us to pretend. This is as good as over."

"It was my fault ok? But I did not expect this. Just give it some time."

"No, this is not about that… not anymore. Trust me it won't work. Now, can I please go talk to Sasuke? You showing up here did not sit well with me or him apparently."

" _So he did not know she was coming?"_ A fuzzy and warm feeling took over Sasuke, as much as he was trying to deny it. He almost felt… relived. He felt like when he was a little kid, always wanting his brother's attention, always trying to catch up to him and make him look his way. " _Wait… where did that thought come fr_ _om? I shouldn't know anything about him… I should have forgotten."_

" _Itachi! Itachi, wait for me!" he said, his little hands stretching forward to grab onto the fabric of his brother's clothes._

" _You caught up to me, Sasuke! Good job." A smaller and cuter version of Itachi turned around to greet him, a warm smile across his face. He lifted the smaller boy in his arms and hugged him. "Where should we go now?" he asked while poking the younger's forehead, never letting him out of his arms, always smiling. Sasuke felt genuine adoration, he was happy…_

"Sasuke, open the door." Itachi's voice echoed in the room, snapping him out of his memory.

" _What was that? Was that really something that happened? Did I just imagine it?_ "

"Sasuke, please open up." He sighed outside the door just as the younger sibling unlocked it.

As he looked at his brother in the door frame, he felt a bit stupid for his actions that day. He behaved like a spoiled child, more so like a jealous teenager. What was he even trying to monopolize his brother for? For a second, he considered telling him about his weird memory, but then quickly decided not to. What if he was only imagining it?

"Can I come in?" he asked, putting up a very tired smile.

"Sure."

Itachi simply walked past him and threw himself on the bed, resting his head on his arms and closing his eyes. Sasuke couldn't resist the urge to sit near him.

"You look tired."

"I feel tired." He said, opening his eyes just a little bit to look at the younger boy. "This week has been harsh, all sorts of stuff piling up and when I thought I'd finally get to spend some time with you…" he gave Sasuke a look that expressed all of his feelings concerning his fiancée's sudden show up. "Sorry that I kind of left you to your own devices this week. Won't happen again." His hand moved to Sasuke's hair, ruffling it gently.

"It's fine by me… she's your fiancée after all."

"I don't know about that anymore. Anyway, would you mind me sleeping here tonight?"

The bluntness of the question stunned Sasuke and he could feel a bit too much blood making its way to his face.

"Why?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.

"That woman insists on sleeping in my room… she's already there and I doubt she has any intention of leaving."

" _Why don't you just sleep downstairs like you told her to then?_ "he wanted to say, but then Itachi would have known that he had listened to their conversation… plus then he wouldn't have slept there… _"Who cares where_ _he sleeps? I just don't want him to know I heard them…."_

"I don't mind…"

"That's great then. I'll go take a shower and then come here. Want to watch a movie or something? I'll let you chose as a reward for not spending the day together." He said as he stood up and left the room.

"Who cares about that…" Sasuke protested, but got up anyway and went to download a movie.


	5. In the Dark

Sasuke was laying in his bed, trying his best to calm the annoying eagerness that had taken over him. He could not sit still, he was turning around on all sides, and it was irritating and uncomfortable. Why the hell did he need to feel like that just because he and Itachi were going to spend the night in the same room? He stood up and went to his desk. He had picked his favourite movie and he was hoping that his brother would enjoy it... not like he cared, of in the orphanage, good movies and books were some of the few things that rose his interest.

He then turned around to his closet and changed in some more comfortable clothes just before his brother had knocked on the door.

"Can I come in?" his voice echoed from the other side.

"You're annoying. Of course you can come in, why do you even ask." Sasuke pouted, feeling like a spoiled child and enjoying it just a tiny bit.

As Itachi entered the room, he tried his best to put on a disinterested face, however he was sure he started blushing just a tiny bit at the sight of his brother. He had never seen him looking quite like that. He was wearing a black t shirt and dark blue pants. His hair was still slightly wet and he was idly drying it with the towel he had in his left hand. He looked at his little brother for a second then flashed him a devious smirk.

"Oh but how could I barge in your room just like that? Maybe you need privacy." He said, sitting down by Sasuke's side and looking thoroughly amused.

_"This asshole… but why the hell am I blushing… there has to be something wrong with me."_

"I don't have anything to hide." He answered, his voice calmer than he had hoped it would be.

"Oh, really?"

Sasuke turned to look his brother in the eye. He still seemed like he was having fun, his onyx eyes taking his little brother in curiously. His head was resting on his hand, a little tilted to the side and his hair was leaving wet stripes on his shirt. Sasuke had to admit, he might have looked just the tiniest bit good…

"Why would I hide anything? I don't have things to hide…"

"Well then, you might be the only one." His brother said, his smile fading away in an instant. He turned his head towards the tv. "So what movie are we watching?"

"Memento."

"Oh. One of my personal favourites."

Sasuke's face lit up. So he had seen it and it was also one of his favorites. He was happy they had something in common and that at least they enjoyed the same movies, but then his heart sunk. If Itachi had seen it meant that he had to search for another movie or at worst they would just forget about it and go to bed… he felt all of his previous exhilaration fade.

"I can find another one." He said, half-heartedly, as he was standing up to go to his desk.

A firm hand on his wrist stopped him.

"No need. I'd love watching this with you."

"You sure?" Sasuke asked, but he sat back down anyway.

"Oh, sure I am. I'm sure I'd enjoy watching anything as long as it's with you, but the fact that it's one of my favourite movies has got to be a plus." A smile curled on his lips and suddenly Sasuke felt wordless. He simply moved more to the side and turned the movie on and the lights off. He was hoping that in the darkness, his flustered face would be less visible.

Although his heart was still beating quite fast, he soon forgot about it and got lost in the movie. He felt like it was a movie suited to him, someone without a past. He could feel and understand the desperation of having to build up a new life after losing your past, and wondered just how many times a human being could do it before it was just too much. In a moment of weakness, his eyes moved towards Itachi, whose pale face was lit up by the tv colors, accentuating the dark circles under his eyes. He seemed tired, fragile and suddenly Sasuke's hand was moving a stand of hair away from his cheek. His brother's face rapidly turned towards him, staring with amazement. To Sasuke's surprise, Itachi seemed flustered, if just a bit, but not uncomfortable. He wasn't sure exactly how, but he knew that Itachi didn't hate him doing that. Suddenly, his face regained composure, and a soft smile appeared out of nowhere.

"Uhm… sorry…. " Sasuke found himself saying and turning away.

_"Great Sasuke. What the hell was THAT?! God I think I'm losing my mind."_

He didn't really have time to think of his actions though, because all at once he felt Itachi's hands on his shoulders, turning him to face each other. Just as the younger was about to protest, his brother suddenly leaned on to press his forehead onto Sasuke's. The closeness made his heart almost stop and then race until he was sure that even Itachi could hear it. He was sure he was red, redder than he ever would have wanted to be and that he was at a loss of words, yet his brother simply seemed composed and genuinely peaceful, maybe even happy. He lazily smiled and seemed nostalgic, but did not move away.

"Wh…what?" Sasuke managed to utter, the words soft and shaky.

"Nothing. I was just thinking that nothing has changed."

"What do you mean?"

"Being close to you is still the best cure for any of my troubles." He moved a hand from his shoulder to his cheek and played with a stand of hair idly, but again refused to move. "Do you dislike this, Sasuke?" he said, almost sad.

 _"Yes, now get away from me"_ he wanted to say, but like most of the times Itachi behaved like that lately, he could not say anything. Instead, he simply looked away, almost silently nodding.

"I don't hate it in particular… but you are weird." Was the best response he managed, and he hated himself for not being able to tell his brother off.

_He is damn weird, but I am even worse… I have no idea what's wrong with me anymore."_

Suddenly, Itachi's head inched closer, and it made Sasuke's heart beat faster, although he could have sworn that was impossible just a few seconds ago. Every one of his senses was now alert, and something, deep inside of him told him to turn away and run, far away from his brother and whatever was about to happen.

But he didn't.

He kept looking at his brother, not moving an inch. Screw common sense, that thing was already far buried inside of him when he was around Itachi. Screw morals and what he knew and what he felt and everything else that was not his brother moving towards him, getting closer and closer to kissing him.

Then suddenly, as if someone had pressed a switch, Itachi's eyes widened. For just a split second, he looked as if he had just woken up from a dream and then his face changed into a mixture of emotions. Sadness, disappointment, pain, lust, restraint all mingled and intertwined, and then…nothing. He moved fast and with no hesitation to place a long, painful kiss on Sasuke's forehead. He felt as if his heart was breaking, and he almost moved around to ask for more when common sense kicked in.

" _What the fuck am I doing? What do I want from him? That was werird. I DID NOT enjoy it. I don't want anyt_ _hing from him. He's your own fucking brother, Sasuke! Get a hold of yourself!"_

He stood up abruptly.

"Sasuke?" Itachi's pained voice echoed through the room.

"Bathroom." He mumbled and ran out of the door. "No need to pause the movie."

* * *

Itachi's heart was not exactly what you'd call calm, but he had learnt to control his emotions better than most people. He was sure his brother couldn't have told what was going on inside his head, but he was thankful he had left the room. He moved a bit, trying hard to look at the screen and focus on the action, to think of what aspects of it he really enjoyed, but he couldn't. His head was full to the brim with Sasuke.

He knew he had acted in a stupid manner, but for the first time in ages, he had lost control, albeit just for a second. He wondered what would have happened, had he not stopped. If his lips were to touch Sasuke's and not his forehead, what would his reaction have been? Would he have been disgusted? Would he have responded? No. He couldn't let himself stoop so low as to think of that. He was sure he was weak to Sasuke and everything he ever did or stood for, but he was not going to do that to his little brother.

At least not until he was sure Sasuke wanted it just as much.

* * *

Sasuke wasn't exactly sure how, but in the end he had managed to calm his nerves down and walk back to his room, where he and his brother acted as if nothing had happened and some time later, despite his heart racing like crazy and despite being unable to get past the fact that his brother was so close to him, he fell asleep.

When he woke up, he was alone in the room.

* * *

"Good morning, Sasuke!" the blue haired woman chanted over her cup of coffee. Somehow, in Sasuke's mind, he still couldn't get past her look change. He expected the long, black sleek haired woman that seemed elegant and had a refined air to her. Somehow, this version of Konan seemed oddly childish albeit refreshing and he was conflicted as to what to think of her.

However, one thing was clear to him. That petite figure smiling at him from across the kitchen table wanted Itachi. And, although he hated to admit it, he knew _exactly_ how he felt about that.

He hated it.

After the previous night, he had realized that now it came easy to admit to himself that he felt possessive of his brother. The reason that made him feel that way was something way harder to admit.

"Morning." He mumbled as a response as he tried to get some food out of the fridge. He looked at the clock and realized his brother had left for work long ago.

"Hmmm, Sasuke, what are your plans for today?"

"Plans? I don't have any." He said while chewing a piece of toast.

"Great then! Would you mind spending the day with me? Being alone is boring anyway and I always wanted to meet you!"

To be fair, he would have preferred spending the day on his own, however he was also intrigued by her. Or more exactly, just what it was that made her catch his brother's eyes.

"Ok." He replied not looking away from his food.

* * *

After spending more than 8 hours with her, he was still not sure he liked her, however he had to admit she was fascinating. Not the type of fascinating that Itachi was, mysterious and sharp, always luring you in, but instead she was sophisticated and elegant, mature to a point where even her electric blue hair seemed refined. He was not sure exactly what made her any different from the pink haired girl he knew or other any woman he knew for the matter, but she seemed like an adult. She was probably what anyone would define as a mature woman, capable and trustworthy, while also fun and easy going when she had to. It was captivating to witness her mood swings and see her smile like a child for almost stupid reasons.

He wondered if Itachi felt attracted to her because of that. Because he had wanted to see her different sides, see past the mature exterior.

"It's so late already, wheeeen is he coming baaack?!" She complained over her bottle of wine. She was past the point of using a glass. "You know, he was always cold to people, cold to me, but I felt that maybe if I tried enough he would show me another side of him…. And sometimes I feel like I am close to seeing it inside of him… but now things just became more complicated and I have no idea if we can fix it…"

Sasuke was a bit drunk himself, so he was just listening, not really focusing on anything. He knew she did not want an answer.

"I really loved him. I think I still do, no matter what…"

The entrance door opened and Sasuke's heart skipped a beat. He could feel his blood suddenly pumping faster through his body and the alcohol was not helping him at all. He was sure nothing could have calmed his nerves down. Until he saw Itachi's face.

He looked mad, from the second he had laid his eyes on them. Sasuke couldn't understand the mute rage that was spreading all over Itachi's face and then suddenly disappeared, in its place remaining only a blank expression.

"Go to sleep, Konan. And you, Sasuke, come here for a second."

Only then did he realize her body was leaning on him in a weird and maybe improper manner and he had to push her aside in order to stand up and wobble his way across the living room. Empty bottles of beverage were littered on the coffee table and for a second he felt like maybe he would have been mad as well if he were his brother.

"What is happening here?" Itachi inquired after the kitchen door was closed behind Sasuke, his tone calmer and scarier than ever.

"She said she was bored and wanted to spend some time to know each other. Then she kinda started drinking and well… I won't say no."

Itachi suddenly turned to face him, pushing him into the wall behind and looking straight into his eyes.

"If you want to _know_ each other so much, I can always give you some privacy." He spat the words as if the whole situation disgusted him.

"Are you afraid I'll steal away your fiancée? I have no interest in her." Sasuke spat back. The one he had an interest in was someone completely different. He wished it was just as simple as wanting to steal his brother's fiancée away. But it wasn't.

"I don't care if someone steals her away. You are a different matter." Itachi's face suddenly froze, as if he realized he had said something he shouldn't have. Composure took over him and Sasuke already felt a déjà vu of the previous night. He wasn't going to let his brother get away this time.

"How so? How am I a different matter?" he said through his teeth while moving closer to Itachi who seemed to run away from him with every passing second.

"Forget it."

"No."

"Stop this, Sasuke!" Itachi hissed as his brother's body inched closer to him, pushing him against the counter. "I won't be responsible for anything that happens next."

"Go ahead."

As Sasuke spat the words, he could see his brother's restraint crack and fade away and suddenly the only thing left were his eyes, burning holes through him. He felt his brother's arms grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer then as if it were the most natural thing in the world, Itachi's lips violently closed on his. It felt like liquid adrenaline was being poured into Sasuke's veins, making him numb to anything that was not his brother. He wasn't exactly sure how, but their positions had changed and now he was being pushed on the counter and he was happy about that since he was sure he couldn't stand on his own feet. The alcohol was nothing compared to this. He was getting high on his brother's kiss and there was no way to pull away. And Itachi was the same. He was sure that if Konan were to walk in on them right then and there, they couldn't have stopped and they wouldn't have cared. Somewhere in his mind he knew it was wrong, but who was he to deny Itachi's embrace just because it was not right? He had longed for this for so long and he was happy he was drunk. Otherwise, he might have never been able to do it.

He wasn't exactly sure how long they had been in the kitchen, unable to stop touching even for a second when they heard her coming downstairs, asking for help. At this point, Sasuke wanted to scream in frustration. He looked in his brother's eyes and knew that was the end. He was going to stop, pull away and leave the kitchen to help Konan with whatever she needed help with. He felt like a child, but still clenched his fist onto Itachi's shirt, trying to pull him closer as he was moving further away. He tried to protest but it was no use.

Itachi was already gone.

* * *

In Sasuke's mind, the period of time from when he left the kitchen and when he got to his room was just a dark passage in his memory. He couldn't remember anything but Itachi's lips all over his and the sensation it left behind.

He wanted more and he hated himself for that.

That night, he finally understood just to what extent his brother could influence him. Not having him in the same room, in the same bed after sleeping together the previous night made him feel empty, tired and cold. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or just his dreams, but he could see bits of memories, Itachi and him, sleeping together as children, and then the darkness that came whenever his brother was not around. His blood felt cold as it was running through his veins and he gasped for air in his bed. The sensation of fear overwhelmed him.

And then the nightmares started.

He wasn't exactly sure what had changed, but he knew it had to do with Itachi's absence. He would wake up, night after night, so many times, covered in cold sweat and shaking, unable to remember his dreams, but sure that he was better off that way. He would then climb down his bed and go to the living room, always hoping to see Itachi there, but it was no use. He was sleeping in the same room as Konan now and he was barely even at home. For the past week Sasuke had not seen him at all and he felt anxious and nauseous everytime he would hear his voice on the phone, talking to someone and telling them he would leave the house soon. Every night, he'd sleep on the couch, with the tv on and every night was torture.

* * *

" _There is no reason to fear the darkness, Sasuke" a younger version of Itachi smiled at sasuke as he pet his head. "I'll sleep with you so don't be scared."_

_Relief filled his chest as he cuddled up to his big brother. Even in the darkness, it was comforting. And then he was gone. He stood up, laughing at Sasuke, his face oozing of blood and his body disfigured. Everywhere around, corpses hanged grotesquely and Itachi seemed to caress them, telling them over and over "It's ok, I am here for you, HE can't hurt you." he kept_ _caressing the bodies, while looking at Sasuke with a disgusted look and everytime he touched a corpse, he became more twisted himself. Then he approached Sasuke, slowly, as if to expose his destroyed body and laughed, getting closer and closer, until his crooked hands could touch Sasuke and the smell of blood was unbearable…_

Then he woke up to a voice calling him, soothing and quiet. He looked up to see his brother, standing over him in his suit, looking tired and pale. He was absently stroking his hair. He knew he was drenched in sweat but he could not help burying his face into Itachi's shirt. The older simply hugged him back.

"Since when has this been happening, Sasuke?"

"Last week."

"I am sorry." Itachi said and lifted his face so that he could look him in the eye. "I was a fool to leave you alone. I should have known better. After all, you never change."

"What do you mean?"

"You always had nightmares when I was not around." Itachi said, smiling softly.

For a second, Sasuke felt relieved, but then he remembered that Itachi had been ignoring him for the past week which made him feel nauseous. He pushed him to the side and sighed while gripping the blanket in his hand.

"No need for you to be concerned. After all, you have been doing your best to never be in the same room as me again." He said, smiling bitterly.

For a second, Itachi stared at him as if to choose the best words then simply asked.

"Do you hate me, Sasuke?"

Sasuke was still feeling the after effects of the nightmare he could still not remember, however he was sure he could never hate his brother. He started laughing a bit frustrated with his weak resolve.

"How could I ever hate you? I hate myself sometimes, sure… for not being able to push you out of my mind, but what can I do when I don't even understand it myself… I can't hate you… I can't not want you."

That seemed to be enough for Itachi as he pulled Sasuke up and helped him to his room. At the sight of the darkness in it, he started to panic.

"It's ok, Sasuke. You won't have to sleep alone." He said while laying his brother on the bed. "I was a fool, but I was scared. I was not sure of what to do… after all you are my little broher but I guess n the end I just don't care about that. So forgive me, Sasuke. I won't ignore you again."

As he said that, he started kissing the younger boy and Sasuke was sure he felt pretty content with his explanation. He didn't need to hear more. After all they were both the same. They understood each other. Itachi's kisses were soft and considerate, but somehow, he knew his brother was trying his best to hold back. He wanted more, he wished to tell him he did not have to hold back however in the end the exhaustion wore him out and he slowly fell asleep while sticking close to Itachi.

For the first time since the nightmares had started, he dreamt of nothing.


	6. Charade

Sasuke woke up feeling strangely warm and comfortable. He slowly opened his eyes and was greeted with an unfamiliar view. His head was laying on Itachi's chest and a hand rested on his messy hair. Black eyes looked softly at him and a gentle smiled spread across his brother's face.

'Good morning.' His gentle voice felt like a caress.

Memories of the past night flooded Sasuke. His brother's lips, the love he felt, the need, the longing all came back to him. He was at a loss of words, simply staring at his brother's perfect face and his unruly hair.

Itachi noticed his expression right away. How could he not? He had spent most part of the morning pondering how to face Sasuke once he woke up. He hoped his approach would be good enough. He would never let himself surrender to the alcohol and desperation as he had last night. Sasuke seemed to enjoy it, but what did he know?

'Don't worry, Sasuke. Last night was a lapse in judgement, a mistake. I will not repeat it.'

He had been weak last night. No. He had been week all this time. Ever since he first saw his little brother all grown up. Although Sasuke was the one who lost his memories, he felt like he had been the amnesiac in their relationship. He forgot they were tied by blood, he forgot his brother was a man, he forgot Sasuke was a mental wreck and he was probably just taking advantage of it all. He forgot, but now he remembered. The Sasuke in his memories remembered none of their time together and he would not rob him of his life twice. He was not about to take advantage of Sasuke's need for companionship, love and family and push his twisted feelings onto him. No. He would offer him a family, a home, and a _brother_.

'W..what are you talking about?' Sasuke's eyes widened, his expression pained in utter defeat. He was being abandoned.

Itachi gently sat up, nudging Sasuke to do the same. He placed a hand on his head and patted it gently.

'Don't worry, Sasuke. I'll always be here, always love you, but what you feel for me is not this kind of love. I'll be your brother, like I'm meant to be. Last night is one I deeply regret, but I'll do my best to make up for it and always be here for you.'

Sasuke was at a loss for words. Was Itachi serious? He regretted last night? Sasuke could not begin to understand his feelings. To him, last night had been the rightest thing in his whole life. Of course, he couldn't say any of that anymore. Itachi was probably right. It was wrong, weird and disgusting. They were brothers yet he lusted for Itachi. He wasn't even gay for the love of God, yet somehow he wanted him. And he was wrong. He was a glitch in the matrix, an error. His feelings were just unnatural and he wasn't going to burden Itachi with them.

Maybe the years of being deprived of love and affection turned him into a freak or maybe Itachi was right. For the first time he was given unconditional love and as a fool he mistook it for more than brotherly affection. He repeated that over and over in his head before he opened his mouth.

'I'm sorry too. I have been acting strange. It's probably hard for you to see me now, as opposed to the me in your memories…'

He jumped out of bed and ran for the shower.

'I'm going to work.' He shouted from the bathroom.

He heard Itachi mumbling his name in the other room and that prompted him to keep repeating the earlier thoughts he had in his mind. He was just his brother. This was just brotherly love. He was confused. The words kept playing in his mind like a tape on repeat, yet somehow, somewhere, there was a scratch on the record. A tiny thought that risked to crumble his sanity. What if he wasn't wrong?

* * *

Left alone in the house, Itachi couldn't quite contain himself. His blood was boiling. He wasn't sure exactly what he felt. He had Sasuke, in his arms, finally after all those years. His beloved, precious brother was within his reach and he had gone and risked ruining it all. What was he even doing? He had always known that Sasuke was more important life itself, the only thing that mattered, however he had never felt such inappropriate urges. At first he thought it was a childish game. He did not even consider how far it'd go. They teased each other, it was harmless and all of a sudden Itachi went and developed such feelings. All of a sudden it stopped being a game. Now he wanted more. He was greedy. He had spent years praying to all gods that his sweet little brother would be returned to him and now here he was, yet Itachi was not satisfied. Being a brother was different than what he had expected. Now he wasn't even sure he wanted it anymore. He wanted Sasuke to look at him as he had that night. He wanted his little brother to be his, he wanted to touch him. He was sick, perverted and he had to stop.

That night had been a mistake, but now he was done. Done soiling his sole reason for living with his twisted fantasies. Sasuke was already broken, what he had to do was mend him, pick up the pieces and make sure his little brother could go on in life happily. Sasuke didn't need Itachi breaking him even more and Itachi was prepared to do anything and kill all of his desires if it was for his brother's sake.

* * *

The next weeks passed uneventfully and Sasuke felt as if he was finally regaining his sanity. He was finally seeing Itachi the way he was supposed to. He was his older brother, his family. He wasn't his lover nor a potential love interest. He still felt the occasional tingle in the back of his mind when Itachi cuddled him to sleep on those nights when the nightmares took over, but most of the time he was far too exhausted to give it too much thought. His body still ached inexplicably at times when Itachi was near, but he had learned to control it. He chalked it up to his amnesia, madness, hormones, exhaustion and every other excuse he could think of. He saw Itachi being happy, smiling gently at him. Being his brother made Itachi happy, so that was what Sasuke wanted to do. It was the first thing he thought of in the morning and the last thing he thought of before he went to sleep. If Itachi wanted a brother, Itachi would get one.

His mind finally felt at peace, albeit slightly numb to everything. He was too caught up in his play of emotions to register much of the world. This was his reality now, he was Itachi's brother from the moment he opened his eyes to the moment he closed them. His dreams however were out of his control.

* * *

It was already dark when Itachi got home. He felt exhausted, but the thought of seeing Sasuke's face was exhilarating. He couldn't think of anything he would rather do than spend time with his little brother. The past weeks had been exactly what he had planned them to be. They bonded. He could see Sasuke becoming more and more comfortable around him. His little brother started trusting him and allowed himself to fall back into old habits. The way he clung to Itachi as he wished the nightmares away, the way he smiled for him and the way he always lit up when his older brother came home. Nothing had changed since they were little. He should have known that Sasuke was still that same kid. No matter the hardships and the years of loneliness and pain, Sasuke had stayed just the way he always had been.

Itachi was grateful for his amnesia. He wasn't sure Sasuke could cope with remembering even a small figment of the past so he hoped. He drowned himself into his hopeless dream that Sasuke would stay clueless forever. He refused to think about it most of the time, but occasionally the thought flickered through his head. 

Fast, sharp like a flash. What if Sasuke remembered? Wasn't he just being selfish? Sure, his little brother was happy to have a family after all this time, however what was the price? What if being around Itachi made Sasuke remember the past? Would he be fixable after that?

Itachi forcefully shut his eyes and pushed the thoughts away. He wasn't sure what was right or wrong, but he was just human. He was already stopping himself from fueling his desires for Sasuke, he couldn't also keep away from being his brother.

He walked past the kitchen and into the living room, just to be greeted by the sight of his little brother asleep on the couch, balled up into a fetal position and with a childlike expression on his face. Itachi moved closer, examining his soft features. His velvet lips were slightly parted, black locks of hair framed his porcelain face while long lashes fluttered slightly with each deep breath that he was taking. He seemed so peaceful, so pure. He wanted to touch him and before he knew it his hands were already moving towards Sasuke. A noise upstairs woke him from his reverie. He looked at his hands with a frown then moved away from the sleeping Sasuke. He would not taint him further.

He knew what awaited for him in his bedroom long before he opened the door. Konan was there, waiting for him with a bored expression.

'How long are you going to ignore me?' she said with a deep sigh. 

'To be fair, I was sure I wouldn't have to do it for so long. You're a smart woman, I was sure you'd get the message sooner rather than later. But maybe I was wrong.'

Konan frowned as she listened to him.

'Itachi, you may insult me, but the truth is I'm not sure which one of us is being an idiot.' She looked him in the eyes with a knowing expression.

At that moment, Itachi hated her. Her cool demeanor and the way she could see through bullshit were the traits that made him think she was slightly appealing, however at the moment he hated it. She wasn't needy, which meant that even if he gave her the cold shoulder she would still try to deal with it by having a logical conversation about the pros and cons of their relationship. He knew he would lose that argument. In no world would leaving a beautiful, educated, loving, rich and understanding fiancé for your younger brother who didn't even want you romantically make sense. He also hated how she saw right through him and his lies. She didn't know about his feelings for Sasuke, but she definitely knew something had changed since his arrival.

Defeated, he took a seat next to the window and eyed her waiting.

'I want to know what's going on. Actually, nevermind that. I don't even care what you're up to. What I care about is the potential that this relationship has. I would hate to think of all of these years and the future and realize we've been wasting our time. Itachi, you can fool around all you want, I don't care, but you need to realize there's no one out there for you other than me.' She sat up and walked over to him, placing a hand on his cheek and placing a kiss on his lips. He felt frozen, unresponsive.

'I can't give you any of the things you really want.' He sighed eventually.

'But you also can't have what _you_ want. I'm fine with that. I don't need your heart. God knows, Itachi, you aren't capable of love. What you feel for Sasuke isn't love.' Hearing her words his blood ran cold. She knew. Of course she did. She was smart.

'You don't love him.' She purred into his ear. 'You want it simply because you can't have him. And even if you loved him, what could you do? Just give up. We don't need to have everyhing, Itachi, just give up. You'll feel more content if you let go of these impossible wishes. Happiness is what you make yourself.'

He felt his resolution crumble. She was right. Sasuke was forever out of his reach, so what was the point?

* * *

_The blood spilled from everywhere, even Sasuke himself. A gentle voice was calling his name over and over. His mother? Maybe, he did not know. He turned around to search for her but the sound was far away, diluted by the cascades of blood._

_Then came the faces. Mangled, dead cold eyes bulging out and their expressions of fear and pain. Then the screaming. The echoes of countless voices clinging to life just to fail miserably and descend into madness and torture._

_He kept on waiting for a light, for the hand of his brother to lead him out of there to somewhere safe, but Itachi never came._

_His legs felt weak as he stood up and walked through the piles of bodies. He was going to find his brother. He would make it all better. As he walked forward, the corpses became more and more grotesque. Dismembered arms, legs and various body parts lay around. The bodies now looked like morbid puzzle pieces and Sasuke could not tell which head belonged to which body until he saw the familiar black orbs staring at him. Itachi's eyes bore holes through his chest. The empty, haunting gaze made Sasuke stumble and fall into a pile of arms and legs. It was Itachi's head, no doubt. His body was also somewhere further in the back. Itachi was dead. His brother was gone._

_There was no escape from here._

When he opened his eyes he felt tired, old and haunted. He felt as if he had spent and eternity into his nightmare. His clothes were soaked with sweat and his eyes stung with tears. He grabbed his knees and buried his face into his chest. He was weak. All of the years at the orphanage, he had never feared anything. Death, disease and every other thing people dread, he couldn't care less about, but now he was weak. Now the thought of Itachi being dead was worse than a thousand deaths and the thought of being alone again was unbearable. He needed Itachi. Not just like a pretend family, no, he needed him to be his completely. Sasuke was already completely captivated, there was no escape. He realized now just how important his brother's existence was to him. So what if it was wrong?

What if it was abnormal? He couldn't go on lying to himself and he sure as hell couldn't stop feeling that way, God knew he tried.

He staggered to his feet and dragged himself to Itachi's room. Just this once, he'll tell him the truth. Itachi meant more than anything to him so why hide it? He was already weak, pathetic. Might as well sink to the deepest abyss and admit his feelings and if Itachi rejected him, then he was already as good as dead. He needed to know how his brother felt. He promised himself this would be the only time. If his older brother was to reject him, he would give up forever and go back to the way he was before.

Sasuke slowly opened the door to Itachi's room. The moonlight shone through the curtains and caressed his brother's pale features. He felt bewitched, rooted in place. And then his head was spinning, he felt like he was drowning, as saw one more figure nested closely in the same bed as his brother. He heard a choking noise coming from afar. It took him a while to realize it was the sound he was making while struggling to get enough air. Once his legs stopped shaking he turned around and ran out of the room.

What was wrong with him? Of course Itachi didn't love him! He stumbled into his room and collapsed near the wall, cupping his hands with his palms and squeezing his temple until his knuckles turned white. He couldn't get the sight of the blue haired woman resting peacefully onto his brother's chest. He was so stupid. Hot tears of frustration clouded his eyes. He felt as if his very soul was being crushed. What was wrong with him? How could he consider confessing his twisted feelings to Itachi? And moreover, how could he be so weak and dependent on his brother?

He wiped his tears and stood up, fists tight. This was the last time. The last time he was vulnerable, the last time he allowed himself to feel this way. He got by just fine in the orphanage. Itachi was poisoning him and his sterile life, infecting him with twisted feelings and vulnerabilities. He had been weak, but no more. He would never be this pathetic. He would never be hurt like this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter I'm posting today. With this the story is up to date and may take a while to get the new chapter depending on how busy I am this next week.  
> Enjoy.

Itachi woke up feeling emptier and more desolate than he had felt since that night he lost Sasuke. He looked at the sleeping face of the woman next to him and couldn't help shutting his eyes tightly. He wanted to make it all disappear, he wished to make it go away. Waking up filled with regret seemed to become a usual occurrence in his life lately.

He slowly sat up trying his best not to disturb her. He did not want to have to interact with Konan if he could avoid it. The only thing he wanted was to see Sasuke's face. Maybe that would assure him of his decision to stay with his fiancé. He needed to have a reminder, a reminder of his determination to only be Sasuke's brother and nothing more, however his reminder seemed to be nowhere to be found. He paced around the house, checking every room but his little brother seemed to have vanished. Today was one of Itachi's rare days off and he had planned on spending it all with Sasuke, doing brotherly things, however he realized his plans were not going to come to fruition.

With a deep sigh he headed for the balcony. The morning air was chilly and refreshing, almost soothing to his troubled heart. He reached around in his pocket and picked up the pack of cigarettes nested there. He knew it was a bad habit, everyone felt compelled to remind him, but just for a while, he needed it.

It was already dark by the time Sasuke came back home, staggering through the front door.

'Sasuke!' Itachi jumped from his chair in the living room. He had been anxiously waiting, worrying about his little brother who had not picked up his phone at all the entire day.

He rushed towards the door just to be greeted by the sight of Sasuke stumbling around in a drunken haze. His beautiful face was contorted in a weird, unnatural way, his pupils excessively dilated and his cheeks unnaturally flushed. He avoided looking at Itachi and instead simply swayed past him, leaving a thick cloud of alcohol fumes behind him before a firm hand grabbed him and stopped him. 

'Wh..at?' he struggled to say while also keeping his balance.

'What is going on with you?' Itachi's voice oozed of annoyance. He felt confused, betrayed and he could not bear to look at his little brother in such a state. What came over him?

'I don't know what you mean.' the words were incoherent and muddy, as if Sasuke was struggling to speak while drowning.

'Look at me.'

Itachi knew his request was in vain. He couldn't talk to Sasuke the way he was then and something told him his little brother would have rather died than look him in the eye.

With a deep sigh he moved closer to the poorly balanced Sasuke.

'What am I going to do with you? Come, I'll take you to your room.' He wrapped his arm around him and tried guiding him towards the stairs.

'Don't!' Sasuke shouted as soon as he seemed to realize what was happening. 'Don't touch me. Why start now?' he laughed bitterly.

'Sasuke?' Itachi raised a questioning eyebrow. 'Let me help you.'

'Screw that. Screw you.' Were Sasuke's final words to Itachi before dragging himself to the living room couch and collapsing there.

* * *

He wasn't sure what felt worse that morning. The throbbing headache, the nausea, the intense thirst he felt burning his throat and lips or the deep darkness surrounding him. Was it possible it was still night? No. Sasuke looked around to see he was in his room, his alarm clock flashing 9:46. So it was morning. He couldn't recall coming to his room, but then again, he couldn't remember how he got home in the first place. All he remembered were Itachi's eyes as he grabbed him. Remembering the look of disgust and disapproval on his brother's face made Sasuke's nausea worsen. He turned around and buried his face in his pillow. He was so stupid, going out and getting wasted all because of his brother, but he did not know what else to do. The pain, the feeling of not being needed, not being wanted made him feel worse than he had ever felt. Of course their kiss meant nothing to Itachi. He had a fiancé for Christ's sake.

Sasuke dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom. He looked as bad as he felt. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, his face had a green, pale shade and his lips were cracked. He sighed a deep sigh. Itachi had turned him into a mess. He briefly considered trying to better his appearance but then he remembered exactly why he had gotten in that state the previous night. He wanted to be numb. He wanted to pass his days in a haze and not ever be sober enough to remember or regret. He wanted time to pass and he wanted to pause his feelings of hurt. He knew alcohol was supposed to only make him more depressed, but what if he were never sober enough to even know who he was? Could he truly be depressed then?

He hurried out of the bathroom and down the stairs. He wasn't sure Itachi was around, but he had no intention of finding out. He grabbed his coat and wallet and rushed towards the front door. As he passed by the living room a strange fragment of his memory seemed to tug at him.

He was pretty sure he had gone to bed on the couch.

* * *

The bartender eyed Sasuke suspiciously. The boy had been practically living there for the past week and he was not sure he had ever seen him without a drink in his hand. Somewhere halfway through the night he simply bought a straight up bottle so that he wouldn't have to bother with a glass. He wondered where the kid got his money from but he figured he was just some spoiled brat of some rich family taking out his frustration by drowning in alcohol. He wasn't exactly fond of the boy, yet somehow he felt strangely curious about him. He stood in a corner night after night, rejecting everyone who might have tried to strike up a conversation. He didn't seem to want to be sober enough to remember even a tiny bit of any of his nights and at some point he started coming early in the morning. He was usually the only client there at that time and moreover he was definitely the only one already drunk by then.

He wondered about his family. Were they ok with him being there all the time? Weren't they worried? If anything, the bartender himself worried that the boy may get alcohol poisoning any minute now. He sighed and turned to pouring a glass of vodka for another client. It wasn't any of his business. If the kid wanted to drown himself and his liver in alcohol then so be it.

He spent the rest of the night avoiding looking to that corner of the room until he and the boy were the only ones left. He cleaned his counter and arranged everything, waiting for him to leave like every night, yet the kid remained. He did not budge nor did he seem to realize it was way past the time he should have left.

'God damn it…' he whispered while placing his neatly folded towel on the countertop. He walked towards the table the boy was at with tired steps.

'Look, kid. It's way past closing time. Get out of here.'

The boy did not respond. For a second, he did not even seem to hear him until he moved to the side. He staggered and tried standing up, just to fall back into his seat a few seconds later, his pale hands clutching the table. The kid was a mess. He tried standing up again and again until finally he managed to somehow do it, however the bartender wasn't sure it was such a good idea anymore. With a drunken sway, the kid stumbled towards the exit.

'Do you need me to call you a cab or something?'

His offer was cut short by a mumbled word from the kid's lips, just before he collapsed on the wooden floor, dragging chairs and a table after him.

'You've got to be kidding me.'

* * *

 

Itachi's hands clutched the steering wheel with enough force to stop his bloodflow. He couldn't believe this. What was Sasuke thinking? Was he even thinking at all? He hadn't been home almost at all the past few days and judging by the worried phone call he got a few days ago, he was also not going to work. Itachi was also way past calling him. His little brother seemed to have thrown his phone away. He had people looking for him everywhere but it seemed as if he had vanished from the face of the earth. Itachi had spent the past week anxious, worried and angrier than ever. What if someone got to him? Was it for the money? No, they would have already called for a ransom. Was he in an accident? That couldn't have been it either, he had checked every hospital in a 100 km radius. He spent his days and nights trying to find him just to be called in the middle of the night.

The call came from Sasuke's phone, but it was not his little brother who had called. A middle aged man informed him that his sibling was passed out and throwing up in a shabby bar somewhere outside of the city, where he had apparently been for the past week. He couldn't contain his anger. What was going on with Sasuke? It couldn't have been their conversation or their kiss. That had already happened long ago, so what the hell was going on? He was frustrated, he couldn't understand. All he wanted was for his brother to be happy, yet here he was, getting dead drunk in some shithole.

He pulled up in front of the bar. The cold wind ruffled his scarf and his breath formed small clouds in the air. He looked around to make sure he had the right place. A pink and green neon sign with a cheesy cocktail flashed precariously over the dimly lit entrance that seemed to lead to a basement. Jo's bar. That was it. He rushed down the brick stairs and pushed the old door to go inside. A bell rang as he entered the bar. Lines of tables with chairs on top of them filled most of the room, while the furthest wall from the door was lined with shelves full of bottles.

'You're here for the boy, right?' a tired voice came from behind the room. The man who came out had gray hair and shortly trimmed beard. He looked tired, fine lines adorning his bronzed face.

'Where is he?' Itachi's voice sounded harsh. He too felt tired.

'He's in the back. Sleeping for now, though I can't say for how long. He keeps waking up to throw up every now and then.'

'I'll take him.' he said already moving towards the back of the bar. He wanted to get his hands on his little brother as soon as possible. He wanted to know him safe. He was not going to let this happen ever again. Even if Sasuke wanted to kill himself, he would not allow it.

As he entered the room the pungent smell of vomit and alcohol hit him. He looked around to see Sasuke laying on an old couch, a small towel covering him.

'Look kid.' The man said from behind Itachi.'I don't know who you are, but when I picked up the brat's phone you were his only contact. It's none of my business, but take him home and make sure he never comes around here again. He'll end up dead.'

Itachi eyed the man, silently contemplating before he moved to pick Sasuke up. He was heavy and unresponsive, but Itachi figured he'd manage something to the car.

'Let me give you a hand.'

'I don't need it.' Itachi's short answer came. He didn't want anyone touching Sasuke.

'The stairs are quite tricky. I won't bite, just let me help.'

Itachi sighed defeated. Dragging a drunken man on a flight of steep stairs was not how he wanted to risk injuring himself nor Sasuke so he gave in and allowed the man to help him. He could feel the bartender's curiosity rising as they reached his car but he did not say anything. He gently placed Sasuke in the backseat and closed the door.

'Thank you.' Itachi said turning to the bartender.

'Don't mention it.'

Itachi knew better. There was no such a thing as a free meal in this world. He reached around his pocket and wrote a fast check to the man. 

'This won't happen again, but if it does, he is your priority and you call me. Understood?'

The man eyes the check curiously, his eyes widening once he read the number. What was wrong with these kids?

'I don't want your money. I didn't do it for that.'

'I don't care. I have plenty, you seem like you could use some. I have nothing else to offer you so just take it as my gratitude. Good night.' Itachi said walking to the driver's seat.

The bartender looked after them in confusion. Such a weird pair. Were they brothers? Both beautifully pale and exquisite, with dark eyes and hair and slender builds, they seemed so similar. He wondered what had happened, but he figured he wouldn't find out anyway so he turned around to enter the bar. He had no use for money, but he figured he'd amuse the kid.

* * *

The world was spinning and he felt as if he was trying to resurface from the depth of a whirlpool. Sometimes he'd see his room, the darkness enveloping it, briefly reminding him of where he was. Sometimes he'd hear the sound of his breathing so very clearly and loud it made his head hurt. Other times, the world was muddy, grey and unfocused, sounds came from afar and he couldn't concentrate on anything. He couldn't remember anything, he didn't know who he was.

Through all of this however, a feeling persisted. Whenever he came back from the depth of his nausea to take a breath of reality, he could see a looming figure. A pair of black eyes staring at him with an expression so solemn it made his blood boil. As much as he felt he was drowning in his haze, he was afraid to sober up and face his brother.

* * *

'I know you're awake.' Itachi's voice came from the other end of the room, yet Sasuke stubbornly refused to open his eyes.

He wasn't ready for this. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He was supposed to wake up from his drunken haze weeks later only to realize he had completely gotten over his brother and if that was impossible, then he was never supposed to sober up.

'Sasuke.' A deep sigh came from his brother. 'Look at me.' He could hear Itachi getting up from the chair and moving towards the bed. He slowly sat next to him. 'Sasuke.' His voice was low, an angry growl yet somehow so seductive.

'What do you want?' Sasuke could not bring himself to open his eyes.

'I want to know what the hell is going on with you.'

'Well get in line. I'm still figuring it out myself.' Came his snarky reply.

'Talk to me.' Itachi inched closer.

At this point Sasuke could feel his hot breath on his neck. He suddenly jerked up. His brother's face looked tired. His long hair was disheveled, his eyes sunken in the back of his head. His expression was unreadable, but something told Sasuke he was unbelievably angry. He wondered how he managed to look so composed.

'Sasuke.'

Every time Itachi said his name, Sasuke felt weak. It was as if he was being stabbed, he couldn't bear it.

'Stop saying my name. I heard you the first 20 times.' 

'So will you talk to me then?'

'What's there to talk about?'

'Don't play dumb with me. My patience's wearing thin.'

'Oh really? What will you do?' Sasuke laughed a hoarse laugh. He felt lifeless. What could Itachi possibly rob him of at this point?

'I can do many things you don't want done, Sasuke, but I would never hurt you. I'm here for you. I love you. I'm your brother. Lean on me.'

 _Brother_. The word cut through Sasuke. He felt his blood boil. How selfish was Itachi? He barged into his sterile, emotionless life and made a mess out of him and now here he was, playing saint.

'You know what? I'll take you up on that offer.' Sasuke barked, finally looking Itachi dead in the eye.

'Alright.' Itachi agreed cautiously.

'You want to know what's going on? You want to help me?'

'I do.' His voice was stern, yet his eyes oozed with concern. He wanted to help. He wanted to make it better for Sasuke.

'Alright then. How about you fuck off then? How about you never show your face again in front of me? And how about you stop trying to pretend you're my fucking family?! You may remember whatever, but I don't know shit. All I know is that since I've been here I've been plagued with nightmares and fucking feelings. I didn't ask for this shit yet somehow now I have to deal with that and you on top of it! And then you have the audacity to kiss me whenever you damn well please. Have you no self control? What the fuck do you think I am? And then you go and push your _brotherly_ feelings on me. Did you ever ask me what I thought of that?! You think I'm confused?! You think I'm not mature enough to know what I want? I fucking do yet somehow I have to deal with pretending to not want it and then be lectured about it. Just fucking stop!'

Sasuke paused to catch his breath. He wasn't sure he made any sense and he felt like crying. He had promised himself he'd stop feeling, that he would never be this pathetic again, yet here he was, confessing to his engaged brother who had made it very clear he wanted nothing of that sort of thing from him. He couldn't help himself. Itachi was just something else. It wasn't just love, or just lust or anything else. It was everything. He wanted Itachi to be his completely. It was love, lust, possessiveness and obsession. He couldn't explain it.

'Sasuke.' Itachi muttered as soon as he could gather his thoughts. 'What are you saying? Be very careful with your words. I do not take lightly to my actions. I _never_ do things on a whim. Never.'

'Oh really?' Sasuke laughed humourlessly. 'So you kissed me because what?'

'I told you, that was a mistake.'

'I know what you said, you damn hypocrite! A mistake, a whim, what's the difference. You don't really care how that affected me. You wanted to make out for a bit so you did and now that your fiancé is back I can go back to being your brother. What the fuck is wrong with you?! What the fuck is wrong with me?'

'There's nothing wrong with you…you're just confused.'

'Confused?! I'm _confused_?' sarcasm was dripping from his lips. 'No, Itachi, I'm not confused. I'm frustrated, exasperated and fucking pissed, but not confused. So if you want to keep lying to yourself that your little brother is an innocent boy instead of a sick, twisted mess who is in love with you then go ahead, lie to yourself, but that's not the reality of this. Go ahead, be disgusted with me, but it won't change anything. The me you remember does not exist. This is what you get. Get used to it. After all, you flipped this switch yourself.' Sasuke spat.

Silence filled the room and he could feel his chest tightening. Well, he figured that would be it. Now Itachi would be thoroughly disgusted with him and that would be it. Their short lived rekindled relationship would end this way and Itachi would surely never want anything to do with him ever again. Whatever, at least he had it off his chest. He struggled to move his legs over the edge of the bed. He needed to be out of that room. He was trying to maintain his balance when Itachi stood up in front of him, onyx eyes burning what Sasuke could have sworn was a red colour.

'Did you mean all of that?'

'Of course I did! Who would make that kind of joke?'

'I'm not responsible for anything that happens from here on out, Sasuke. I wanted to protect you, but I'm not strong enough to walk away after you say such things.'

'What are you talking a…'

His words were cut off by Itachi slamming him on the bed. He looked up to see his brother inching closer until their lips met. He felt a surge of adrenaline running through his veins. Itachi's lips were violently pressed against his, hungry for something more than just a kiss. His tongue traces his lips, his jawline, his neck. Sasuke could not think, could not focus. Itachi was all there was.

For just one second, Itachi stopped to look at his little brother. His hair was messy, eyes lustful. He licked his lips in excitement. He could not remember a time he was so aroused, filled with such pure bliss.

'This isn't a whim of mine, Sasuke. God knows, I've tried stopping myself, but I can't, so if you want me, I'm yours to do as you please with me.' he said, burying his face into his brother's neck.

 


End file.
